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I am a Lawyer, Writer, Reader and Traveller. From Johannesburg, South Africa. I am writing to find my voice. Fortune favours the brave.

Flakey friends are hard

Flakey friends. We all have them. They do one or more of the following:

  • they don’t respond to any messages on WhatsApp or Facebook or Instagram;
  • or they take forever to respond, a minimum of 1 week;
  • they say they will call but don’t;
  • they say they will be there but don’t pitch;
  • they confirm plans but at the last minute change their mind;
  • they don’t answer when you call and they certainly don’t call back;
  • when they do eventually respond it's often with the pretext of, “things are so hectic at the moment…”/”I am so crazy busy…”

1. Ignore and accept

Just ignore…

Is it you or them?

Why do some friendships endure and others simply fade away or blow up in your face?

Even with all these wonderfully easy methods of communication we now have, maintaining an adult friendship isn’t magically easier.

Are my friends just too busy or do they no longer care about the friendship?

I believe friendships endure for one simple reason:


We stay friends with people who are conveniently close by and easy to reach. The friends who live in the same city or down the road and who are keen to meet up and do things.

When things become too difficult…

Loving the Dutch Life

My partner and I recently moved to the Netherlands. We love it. We somehow managed to immigrate during the covid pandemic. After multiple tests and canceled flights we safely landed in the Netherlands at the beginning of February.

It's not the same of course. There are a lot of things we cannot do.

We moved here to pursue Masters degrees in subjects we are both interested in. We planned for two years to move to Europe to work and study. And although covid delayed our plans, by almost a year, we managed to make it and settle down in Tilburg.

How I decided to drink again

I gave up drinking almost two years ago. Well, excessive drinking. I wasn’t an alcoholic but like most twenty-year-olds, I drank to have fun. I got drunk almost every month. It was a part of my life. Too much a part of my life.

So I stopped drinking for a year. I did on the odd occasion have a glass of champagne or too but only the odd occasion.

I was an avid non-drinker. I avoided all alcohol and drank soft drinks when out with friends. The only exceptions I made were weddings or birthdays. …

Ask yourself this first

Work is important. We need to work but how desperately do we need the job. While job searching recently I found myself looking for jobs that I thought would be great but for the wrong reasons.

A persistent thought I had when I found a ‘suitable’ job opening, was:

Imagine when I tell x,y,z…where I work.

I am embarrassed to admit those were the thoughts going through my head. I wasn’t really looking at the type of work I would be doing, only the fancy title or potential title I may one day achieve in the company. I daydreamed about…

It is the best thing in my life

People often comment on my relationship:

“You two are so good together”;

“You look so happy”;

“You have a special connection”;

“Your relationship looks so beautiful and amazing.”

People we know only a little, and close friends and family.

Our relationship looks amazing because it is amazing. When other people talk about their relationship being hard work, or a chore, or something that is a struggle, I cannot agree with them.

My relationship is anything but a chore or hard work. It is easy. It’s like a wonderful, peaceful, and relaxing holiday full of beauty and wonder.

It is the…

We live on the road now

When this year started I had no idea this is where I would be. Living in Cape Town, South Africa. We planned a very different sort of life this year. And we got different. Just not the different we wanted.

We planned to move overseas. A move we had planned for over a year. And then everything happened this year and so our plans changed.

  • Instead of travelling the world and immersing ourselves in a different culture, we immersed ourselves in our own unique South African culture.
  • Instead of taking a flight overseas, we took a car full of all…

Everyone can do something

Yes, it’s overwhelming. Thinking about climate change and everything it means for our future.

If you are young, like me, at 28 the future looks terrifying. And the facts are not so good.

So instead of feeling overwhelmed and helpless, there are a few simple things you can do to help the rapid rate of climate change. I am no expert but these are things I have garnered from reading a lot and watching David Attenborough’s latest documentary, A Life on our Planet (which is something everyone should watch).

1. Download Ecosia and make it your primary browser on your computer and cellphone

And so is a lot of pop culture

The movies and films, popular today, rarely depict healthy, loving and fulfilling relationships.

The relationships we see on TV and in movies are full of DRAMA.

No one wants to watch a movie about two people that fall in love and make it work, do they? People want to watch drama, heartache, and pain. We want to see people get together and fall in love, and we want to see the pain that it takes to get there.

There are countless romantic movies where the two leads lie, manipulate, and coerce each other into falling in love. All in the…

Kate Conradie

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