I Wish We Weren’t Raised To Obsess Over Weddings

There are other things in life

Photo by Tai's Captures on Unsplash

wish we weren’t raised to obsess over weddings. The big white day. The goal of all girls everywhere. Drilled into us since we tiny girls, barely able to walk.

Marriage is the ultimate goal of any girl’s life!

We were raised to obsess over getting married. The finish line! The best thing we could ever accomplish and achieve. And then comes the crowning achievement;


Once you turn 25 no one cares what career you choose. But everyone cares what Man you choose. No one cares if he is good for you not. Whether he will provide you loving safe relationship. NO!

Can he give you a ring on your finger? Is he going to propose anytime soon?

If not, he is wasting your time. Ditch him now!

I want to be lawyer or doctor or something great?!

But what about marriage?! when will that happen?!

But I want to travel and see the world. I want to do a masters degree and learn a new language!

Oh silly girl that does not matter! Marriage matters. From now, that is all matters. You must do everything in your power to make it happen. Otherwise you are nothing.

We are raised to obsess over the big white wedding. Raised to believe that fairytales happen and one day we will all meet our prince. We are made for marriage. Born and raised into a life of supporting our husbands.

I wish it wasn’t so.

I wish were raised to obsess over the following:

  • a career;
  • obtaining a masters degree;
  • doing a PhD;
  • traveling across the world;
  • learning a new language;
  • reading good books;
  • challenging ideas;
  • exploration; and
  • life.

Why are we raised to obsess over weddings? Is there nothing more to us? More to life than the day we walk down the aisle. There must be more.

I despair that in this modern age, women still plan a dream wedding. They still obsess over the perfect day, the big white wedding.

Because we are so much more than a white wedding dress. We are:

  • brave
  • smart
  • powerful
  • strong
  • full of ideas, thoughts and feelings
  • intelligent
  • wonderful
  • courageous
  • full of love and passion

We are so much more than a wedding a dress. That cannot be the best day in our lives. That cannot be the reason we were raised to be strong powerful women. We cannot obsess over weddings anymore. We cannot be victim to the idea that women are good for marriage and nothing else.

I am so much more. I refuse to be reduced to a white dress.

There is more to me.

I am a Lawyer, Writer, Reader and Traveller. From Johannesburg, South Africa. I am writing to find my voice. Fortune favours the brave.